The 10 Worst Catholic Church Songs of All Time

The above link takes you to an enjoyable video of The Catholic Talk Show. I am finding that as blogging has become almost dead, the podcasts and vlogs are providing the same thing I used to find with Catholic blogs:  Great conversations, funny and orthodox but irreverent discussions on Catholic stuff.  This topic of awful Catholic music has been discussed for years yet we still hear the same music at most parishes.  Some of the songs discussed in this episode might make fine folk music on its own but the music is not made for congregation singing and is overwhelmingly sappy and thus, not right for Mass. 

Brooklyn diocese condemns SNL R. Kelly sex abuse jokes

I don't know who at the Brooklyn Diocese thought to issue this statement but they are tone deaf to the anger Catholics have at our leadership.  The defensive posture just does not work anymore as the commentary on social media from serious Catholics show.  Maybe 10 years ago many public Catholics would have agreed with the Diocese but not today.  No one cares about a joke at the Church's handling of the sex abuser priests, we care about punishing those responsible and stopping it from ever occurring again.  We care about how long the evil men like McCarrick, Weakland, and Macial were able to get away with what they did.

"Brooklyn, N.Y., Mar 12, 2019 / 12:30 pm (CNA).- The Diocese of Brooklyn has demanded an apology from the NBC network, calling jokes comparing Catholics to supporters of a disgraced singer charged with child sexual abuse “disgraceful and offensive.”
The jokes were broadcast by the late-night comedy show Saturday Night Live on March 9. Cast member Pete Davidson suggested that the only difference between practicing Catholicism and supporting disgraced R&B singer R. Kelly is that Kelly’s music is “significantly better.”
The Brooklyn diocese released a statement condemning the routine on Monday.
“The Diocese of Brooklyn is demanding an immediate public apology from Saturday Night Live and NBC,” the statement from the diocese said."


No apology is necessary at all!  The only issue I have with this Pete Davidson joke is this part: 


"The SNL audience had a mixed reaction in response to the joke, while Davidson added that the only difference between the Catholic Church and R. Kelly is that “one’s music is significantly better.”     “The other day, my Mom is like ‘I’m going to Mass’ and I’m like OK, I’m going to go listen to the Ignition remix,” said Davidson, referring to Kelly’s hit single from 2002.

Ok, maybe in the average suburban parish Mass this joke works because it would be true.   But historically, the greatest music in human history was done for the Church or by the Church - classical music compositions, Gregorian Chant, Polyphony, etc.. 

When Santa Punched a Heretic in the Face: 13 Memes on St. Nicholas

"Listers, St. Nicholas was born in AD 270 and became the Bishop of Myra in Lycia (modern day Turkey). He died on December 6, 343 leaving a legacy that would grow into a strong and multifaceted cult. He had a reputation for secret gift-giving, such as putting coins in the shoes of those who left them out for him, and thus became the model for Santa Claus, whose modern name comes from the Dutch Sinterklaas, itself from a series of elisions and corruptions of the transliteration of “Saint Nikolaos”. Although he is usually referred to as Sinterklaas, he is also known as De Goedheiligman (The Good Holy Man), Sint Nicolaas (Saint Nicholas) or simply as De Sint (The Saint). His reputation evolved among the faithful, as was common for early Christian saints. The actual feast day of St. Nicholas is December 6th.^"


Read the rest at St. Peter's List

Stephen Colbert at the Al Smith Dinner

From the Christian Post:

"NEW YORK – Comedian Stephen Colbert cracked jokes at major Catholic figures such as Cardinal Timothy M. Dolan and Pope Francis during Thursday's Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner, which raised $3 million in charity for children.

Colbert, a Roman Catholic who teaches Sunday school, declared himself "America's most famous Catholic" in his opening remarks, according to The Associated Press, then turned to Dolan, the Archbishop of New York and president of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops:

"I know what the cardinal is thinking: 'Stephen, pride is a sin.' Well, Cardinal, so is envy, so we're even."

....
 
"Colbert further joked that Dolan had a chance to be elected pope when Catholic bishops were electing a new leader earlier this year at the Vatican, "but he blew it in the swimsuit competition."

The comedian also focused on Pope Francis, bringing up the humble and modest nature the new Roman Catholic leader has been praised for. He joked that if the pope had planned Thursday's dinner, "we wouldn't be in white-tie at the Waldorf - we'd be in sweat pants at the corner booth of the IHOP."

Whispers in the Loggia has the full audio.

Gen X Revert: Popping readers' faces for 10 years

Years ago this blog had Haloscan comments but those disappeared one day and I was left with the Google/Blogger comment system.  Now, all I ever get is spam which is annoying except when I get good spam like this (on the post about Pope Francis canonizing 800 martyrs):

"The article provides proven useful to me personally.  It's very useful and you are clearly really experienced in this field.  You get popped my own face to different opinion of this specific matter together with intriguing and reliable content material."

Glad you enjoy my blog dear reader.

This is a fun rant from Matthew Archibold at Creative Minority Report -

I'm Making Lutheran Priestesses Here

Catholic blog comment of the year award goes to Fr. Phillip Neri Powell, O.P. for his response to this post at Mark Shea's Catholic and Enjoying It! -

"A reader writes:

I just got home after a disheartening experience at a work function. A nun railed on me about not voting for Obama, then my views on abortion, and then the Catechism of the Catholic Church (read: it's "outdated" and "needs to be reformed"). I respected her tremendously and am disappointed beyond belief. To make matters worse, a co-worker who is vehemently anti-Catholic, started in on me too, because, you know, I don't think women should be priests, etc. etc. She's the same co-worker who, offended at our practice of closed communion, referred to the Eucharist as "just a hunk of bread."

I tried to be civil, and attempted to end a futile conversation with, "Well, we're just going to have to disagree", after it became obviously clear all of my arguments were being dismissed as "outdated." But they persisted, so I left the function early and went for a long walk in the cold night air.

I need prayers now, for the strength to face these people again, for the souls of both the nun and my co-worker who are clearly misguided, and as I being a much-needed job search to find something a little less obviously hostile to my beliefs.

If you and your readers could do that, I'd be grateful. 2008 has come to a spectacularly disasterous end and I'm pretty much fed up with everything."


The workplace referred to was a Catholic women's college.

Fr. Powell's comment was:
"I've had to note many times lately to my readers that I've taken vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience.
There ain't no %$#@ vow of nice.
I think the time for "being sweet" to the enemy is last past..."

For those who have never seen my Gen X Catholic poem ala Allen Ginsberg, here it is:

Catholic Howl

I saw the best Catholics of my generation destroyed by madness, starving
hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the streets at dawn looking for beautiful Liturgy

Coolheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the
Trinity,
Who passed through universities without ever learning Aquinas, among the scholars of Kung,
who were expelled from the seminary for questioning heterodoxy,
who cowered in rooms with no crucifixes, burning their Missals in
wastebaskets and listening to the Feminist Theology through the wall,
who got busted in their dorms reading Wojtyla,
who purgatoried their torsos night after night
with endless tales of bitter old nuns,
who chained themselves to altar rails for the timeless reception of the Eucharist,

who sank all night in submarine light of renovated Churches, listening to the
crack of doom from the folk group,
a lost battalion of Thomistic conversationalists,
screaming whispering facts and memories and
anecdotes of lecher priests, pedophiles, perverts
whole intellects who vanished into nowhere leaving a trail of missed vocations,
who wandered around and around at midnight wondering where to go for Adoration, and went, leaving no broken hearts,
who studied Newman,Stein, St. John of the Cross
because the teachers would forbid it,
who loned it through the streets of Georgetown seeking visionary angels like Fessio
who lounged hungry and lonesome through USF seeking Chesterton or Augustine or
Waugh, and followed the brilliant Spaniard to converse about Opus Dei
who disappeared into the Traditionalist groups,
who reappeared on the Florida Coast building Ave Maria
with big pacifist eyes sexy in their dark skin passing out Catholics United for the Faith leaflets,
who kneeled for communion and shrieked with delight for
committing no crime but their own desire for orthodoxy

who journeyed to Denver, who prayed With Chaput,
& waited in vain, for the New Evangelization

who fell on their knees in hopeless cathedrals praying for each other's salvation

who threw potato salad at Jesuit lecturers on Dogma and subsequently
presented themselves on the granite steps of Groeschel’s Friary with
shaven heads demanding true religious life.

II

What sphinx of cement and aluminum bashed open their skulls and ate up
their brains and imagination?
Moloch! Heterodoxy! Filth! Ugliness! Bare Churches and stupid theology! Boys sobbing childhood molestation
Moloch! Moloch! Nightmare of Moloch! Moloch the heavy judger of orthodox seminarians!
Moloch the incomprehensible dissidents! Moloch the soulless Liturgies! Moloch whose church buildings are empty!
Moloch whose love is endless questioning and changing! Moloch whose soul is America and National Catholic Reporter!

Post-9/11 Life:

Winners of Pope Tickets Must Pass Security Checks (Newsday)

Nipple Rings Cause Airport Security Issue (Msnbc)

If you plan on going to see the Pope you might want to leave the nipple rings at home.

From the Long Island Catholic:

Dan Schutte, former Jesuit and composer of the songs “Here I Am, Lord,” “Table of Plenty” and “City of God" recently spoke at Good Shepherd Parish in Holbrook. I wish I had known he was coming to Long Island so I could have driven the 20 minutes to Holbrook, went to the talk, and taken the opportunity to throw up on Mr. Schutte's shoes. Payback for all those times his music at Mass made me cringe and think unChristian thoughts.

"The Gospel image of Jesus washing the feet of his disciples is the perfect example for all liturgical ministers, according to Schutte, who asked the participants to think about how they would prepare for a dinner party.

“As good hosts we think about those who are coming and their needs,” he said. “As people of hospitality, as the Body of Christ, we have to think about the same things when we plan the eucharistic celebration.”


(Ok, ok, full disclosure: I sort of liked "Here I am Lord" when I used to hear it in high school sung by the choir)

Ever hear a homily that claimed Jesus did not really perform the miracle of the multiplication of the loaves and fishes? I did once, and Mark Shea brilliantly summarizes everything wrong with this at InsideCatholic:

Lying About the Loaves and Fish

"Then Jesus took the loaves, gave thanks, and the crowd, so moved at his warm fuzziness, started to share their own lunches with each other and sing, "Wind Beneath My Wings."

"In countless parishes all over the United States this Thanksgiving, some variation on this rubbish will be the theme of the homily as, once again, this tired naturalistic exegesis is trotted out to bore parishioners, confuse the young, irritate the theologically informed, and insult the ancient Jews it so casually caricatures."

"And then there were these three woodsmen...but only one of them talked"

Karen Hall at Some Have Hats mentioned the TV show Newhart which I enjoyed. She reveals her ex-husband was one of the creators of the characters "Larry, Daryl and Daryl". This caused me to remember the show's final episode. Forget the Soprano's fade to black,the final episode of Newhart was the best finale to a show ever!

From the where do they find these people files:

Priest accused of stalking Conan O'Brien

Crooner 'with a calling' sings Elvis ... in Latin

"In yet another testament to the irrepressible influence of "The King," fans can croon along to the broody "Nunc hic aut numquam" ("It's Now or Never"), shake hips to the slightly scary sounding title "Nunc Distrahor" ("All Shook Up"), or just have fun with "Ne Saevias" ("Don't Be Cruel")."

Well, at least he understands what many in the Catholic Church do not:

"Latin is an eternal language and therefore I believe it is important to document Elvis' songs also in this eternal language," said Jukka Ammondt, known by his stage name Doctor Ammondt."

Seen at Catholic Pillow Fight:


"When someone asks you 'think about what Jesus would do', remember that a valid option is to freak out and turn over tables" -- Unknown

New 7 wonders of the world named

Amazingly, the Big Duck in Flanders did not make the list!

I take lunch at 12:30 PM but I missed this, from Ellis Henican's column in Newsday:

"PREPPED FOR LIFE: The no-prom controversy, the Duke case, three grads killed in Iraq: Who says president of all-boys Chaminade High School is a laid-back kind of job? Not Father James Williams. Not this year. Father James tells all to WHPC's Ray Bertolino, Monday, 12:30 p.m., 90.3 FM."

CBS Radio Suspends FREE FM Hosts After Prank

JV and Elvis were (are?) on the radio at 92.3 Free FM, where Howard Stern used to be. As a big radio listener I have to say I did not like this show, they sound like two dumb jocks, guys that think they are funny but aren't. I am glad to see some of the filth being cleaned up on the radio, although there has got to be some room for satire. I am a big fan of Ron and Fez, who although their Free FM show doesn't seem to have any of the old characters they had when they were on WNEW, are still very funny.

If I hear or see the following phrases one more time I am going to convert to Islam -

"Celebrating our giftedness"

"time, talent, treasure"

"stewardship"

"Happy Friday"

"Called and Gifted"

"gifted"

From Newsday:

"Illegal credit card use nets three $19K in gas"

So, what did they get, 4 or 5 fill-ups?