Saturday, August 02, 2003

Layers of Hell Dante never saw:

Layer for those who introduced Kumbaya into Masses
Layer for those who produced the Anna Nicole Show
Layer for those who use the words “proactive” and “concretize”
Layer for those who insist on using drums at Mass
Layer for those who say “I love the snow” when its coming down hard
Layer for those who use their cell phone while driving
I finally had a cable modem hooked up and it is working well. I can surf the internet with ease and don't miss aol at all. I downloaded a firewall and a pop-up blocker which are both handy. The pop-up blocker is particularly helpful. It works so well that I have to disable it everytime I want to bring up comments on a blog. So now the only time I ever get those annoying pop-up ads is when I am reading blogs. And for the record, no I don't want my penis enlarged nor do I care to speak to Sexy Suzie.

Thursday, July 31, 2003

Here is another press release from the Catholic League regarding my Bishop

Another one that corrects some things

A Third!!

And Here is Bishop Murphy explaining his time in Boston

This is how a real Catholic lay organization does things:

"Voice of the Faithful wants Bishop Murphy to resign. In response, the Catholic League has begun a petition drive in support of him. On July 29, Donohue sent a letter to all the pastors in the Diocese of Rockville Centre requesting that they ask parishioners to sign the petition. But today Bishop Murphy sent a letter asking the pastors to stay out of it. "

“The Catholic League is deeply appreciative of the kind words that Bishop Murphy has written about our support for him. Regarding our petition drive involving the parishes, his instincts are right on target: this is a dispute between lay Catholics that should not involve the parishes. Indeed, to do so would unnecessarily politicize matters. That is why we are now faxing and mailing a letter to every pastor requesting he accede to Bishop Murphy’s request. ‘I fully understand his reservations,’ I said, ‘and respectfully second his call to keep the parishes out of this conflict.’ "

Bishop Murphy continues to impress me. The Catholic League is awesome and is alive today mostly thanks to the Long Island Chapter. This local chapter kept the League afloat when the group almost disbanded due to lack of members, money and influence. They ended up finding Bill Donohue and the rest is know. Go HERE to get a printable petition.
Speaking of # 92 above:

Our diocese has a television network, called Telecare, which I have never seen. They broadcast EWTN on it overnight but have cut back the time EWTN is on, in favor of shows such as a health show by local weatherman Frank Field. Really. I read on the internet that their antenna, located on the grounds of Kellenberg High School can be seen in The Godfather, parts of which were filmed here on Long Island. The famous machine gunning death scene of Sonny Corleone was filmed at the former Mitchel Field, an old airport. I watched the scene making sure to look for it, and sure enough, there is Telecare’s antenna in the background just as Sonny is driving around toward the toll booth and his bloody death.
For the Locals:

98 Signs that You Are a Long Islander

1.) You know someone who went to Chaminade.
48.) You live in the shadow of the greatest city in the world, but you never go there.
60.) You've never been to Times Square on New Year's Eve.
76.) You went to an elementary school that promoted dodge ball as the number 1 game among children 7-13.
91.) When you hear Billy Joel's "Scenes From an Italian Restaurant" you try to figure out what places on Long Island he's talking about.
92.) You know that parts of the Godfather were filmed on LI.

Tuesday, July 29, 2003

I had my first experience with a "current theology" homily this past Sunday! I went to another parish to meet several people from a group to help plan the next season of meetings. The Church was big and beautiful in a 100 year old parish. The priest spoke of the miracle of the loaves and fishes and started by saying how some people "today" would say that Jesus did not actually multiply the loaves and fishes, he simply had a young boy come forward and convinced him to give him some fish and bread. This example caused people to whip out their bread and fish and start sharing. I was expecting the priest to get to the part where he debunks this but he never did. He went on to explain the miracle was one of "breaking the hard hearts of people" by sharing. He then said the miracle of the Eucharist is one of sharing also. This lead me to think he was dismissing the Real Presence but maybe I was reading too much into it. I was boiling at this point realizing this priest was preaching this garbage and wondered what the other people from the Faith on Tap group were thinking. After the Mass I kept quiet about it and we all went to a local diner for brunch. The wife of the group leader said, before we begin can I ask what you all thought of the homily? I blurted out “It was blasphemy, absolute garbage”. She was thankful because that was her reaction. (I don’t know if this qualifies as blasphemy but I was hungry and angry). We agreed that, at least for those who listened to the homily, people could conclude that if Jesus did not perform this miracle, then maybe he did not perform others as well. One person jokingly suggested maybe Lazarus was just a heavy sleeper after all. I argued that the homily said to me:
---Jesus did not really perform this miracle, it is all about sharing. The Eucharist is not really a miracle, it too is about sharing. Therefore, I don’t need to go to a Catholic Church next Sunday because I could just go to any protestant church since most of them share better.

Modern theories like this start with people trying to debunk things in the Bible that conflict with a rational, materialistic viewpoint. Most people learned about sharing in the first grade or earlier, I don’t think homilies like this will inspire anyone above first grade. Why can’t a priest make good points about sharing and breaking cold hearts without trying to deny Jesus’ miracles?
"Here we are in Bahrain, the real land of brotherly love....Everyone here looks like Danny Thomas. And that's just the women....No show of public affection is allowed. In Bahrain, that's called the law. Back home it's called marriage...Women here can't show any skin. I ordered a chicken breast and it was wearing a bra.....This is the kind of country where they cut off your hand for stealing. I don't even want to think about what they cut off if you steal someone's wife."

Bob Hope Don't Shoot, It's Only Me